“Life is like a wheel. Sooner or later, it always come around to where you started again”
The sun had already gone down, dusk prevailed. It was a month of December when Delhi saw her peak cold. Wrapped in a woolen jacket, gloves, thick boots, and a muffler, it was just insufficient for me to hide from the bleak weather. I was heading back home in haste. Every time the air was cold, wind pricking like a hundred tiny needles against my bare skin. The only consolation was that this weather brought along a decorative feel to it, with lights blinding the city, making it look festive. Not just the young boy’s n gals but the elders too wore a variety of psychedelic clothing which made it all look vibrant.
The tall oak trees which were grown on either sides of the road, the gulmohar which was fallen on the ground, made it look majestic. As I walked on the road, I felt a sudden darkness, my vision was getting dimmed, the body became numb & I fell on the ground. I don’t know what happened in between, but when I woke up I was in the hospital with many people around.
Being an orphan I always craved for love. I had never known my parents at all, but all I knew was this: That as a little child of 2, I was dumped into an orphanage by them. Being brought up in an environment where I had nobody to relate to; I detached myself from all the worldly pleasures, my heartfelt no emotion & I didn’t care for anything. At that time, a meal per day was all I wanted.
I was adopted by an elderly couple who came from the middle-east. I was eight years old by then. I was raised amidst the Arabs. I realized, I was adopted not that they wanted to share their love but for the slavery. I was punished every time I overslept or took rest in between the work. My duty was to take the camel loaded with huge luggage and deliver it to the merchants in the nearby city. I was sometimes made to deliver the cargo to the ship which took them to India, west of Europe & China. The peak summers killed me. It was as if the sun was trying to suck every drop of blood in my body. I was made to work day in & out, not being paid a single Dinar.
I had learnt the art of sword fight when I secretly observed the Arabs fighting during my travel to different cities. I picked up books in random and tried to read them. Probably they were the only friends of mine. My basic studies at the orphanage had quite equipped me with the knowledge to read and understand what was written and to relate accordingly. When my master caught me reading the books, he burnt my hand and warned me not to grow beyond my shoe. For him, the slaves were supposed to do what they were asked to and not more than that. He sensed the fear of me escaping, only if I knew about the world around. I was eighteen, frustrated about my life. I didn’t want to live this kind of life anymore. I wanted a change. The only way which probably would change my life was to kill my master.
“He fed you for ten long years & is this how you’re repaying back to him” is what my sub-conscious told me. I didn’t care for it. I had to get out & lead a life which I’d always craved for.
It was thirty minutes passed twelve in the mid night, Abba was in deep sleep. Maui was his second wife; she too stayed along with Abba. I entered the room where they were sleeping. For one last time I was going to give an end to their life. They hardly knew that this is their final sleep. I was helpless; I had to kill them for my existence. I was selfish but there was no room for any emotion to come in between. I raised the sword in the air and pierced Maui’s chest. She cried out in a stentorian tone which made Abba also to wake. He held his sword to fight back & survive. I saw the rage in his eyes, he fought back vigorously, he had mastered the art of sword fight and he was much better than me in that. He stroke my left arm, a sudden gush of blood oozed out. I could sense defeat. If I’d lost this game of fight, I was sure of being tortured to death. I held Abba’s sword by my hand, pulled it on my side and made him fall. With a final brutal effort I sliced his neck and cut his head. I killed him mercilessly. I was happy that my skills of handling sword came to use at least once in my life.
I didn’t have much time. Before the dawn I had to elope. I picked up little jewelry from the locker and the gold coin sack from Abba’s drawer.
I knew the secret passage to get to the Arabian Sea without getting noticed by the city crowd. The ship which carried goods arrived at four in the morning & I’d known this fact. The ship sailed towards Goa. My destiny was to get back to India and lead a normal life.
I worked in the shacks of Goan beach as a waiter & later as a bar tender and in a couple of years I was able to make handsome amount of money to open my own shack.
There were many visitors to Goa, in the month of Christmas. One such traveler helped me realize the existence of love. Jane Cluny was her name. She was a true Australian! Not just she had been blessed with the beauty of physical appearance; she was also blessed with a beautiful mind. She’d come to goa to spend some time by herself observing things around. The destiny made her to observe me. We spoke to each other for hours together, endless conversation happened throughout the night and I for the first time summarized the whole life history to a stranger. She was no more a stranger; we got married in the St. Xavier church the next morning & she became a perfect wife helping me in the shack. I loved her very much. She also introduced a variety of Cuisines & cocktails which made a lot of white skinned people to hang out.
When I was twenty four years of age and I became a father. Though I didn’t know much about the parental care, I’d promised myself to take care of the child by giving him everything which probably I hadn’t received when I was of his age.
We moved to the capital city of India, Delhi for the betterment of Adam, my son. We got him enrolled in the finest schools and never made him feel unhappy for any matter.
I opened a lounge bar in the hearts of Delhi. The marketing skills which I had learnt from Abba helped me immensely in establishing the lounge. The guilt feeling that I welsh on Abba prevailed, I still let it go because I wouldn’t be half the person that I am if I’d not killed him.
Adam graduated from the school with a distinction and made Jane and I feel proud of it. Business was doing quite well; I invested my money in the shares. Share market had become an addiction for me. Sometime I used to burn the midnight oil waiting for the share market to go up, neglecting my wife and son. I was losing my focus. I used to drink every time the shares went up for a reason to celebrate and when the shares went down, to get over the blue, I again used to get drunk. I no more showed chivalry for my child & wife. I no more needed them. The greed of money made me loose all my money in shares, I used to vent out my frustration on Adam & Jane. They did not tolerate my belligerence any further & they left. I tried to get them back in my life, but they’d left the country for good. They left me making me an orphan again.
“May I come in?” the doctor questioned. He woke me up from the state of my mind which had taken back to the past of my life. He had the report in his hand. I was diagnosed with cerebrovascular disorder. I was hemi paralyzed. My body was just a lump of log which served no purpose. I felt insecure, I felt hurt. I tried to shape my life in a different way, but it ultimately took me to the point where I was before. I am Forlorn! My sub-conscious spoke to me again, it said, “there is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered. Life is really a wheel”
– Nikhil bekal
